Ahhh – November.
It’s the time of year when, before we even put away the Halloween costumes, we’re already rushing ahead into making our holiday or end-of-year plans.
Many people are also dealing with more than their fair share of additional stress. Whether it’s a job search, financial pressure, the government shutdown, being a caregiver, recovering from a challenge, the state of the world, the needs of our neighbors — the list goes on. And on. And on.
It is easy to see why many of us feel as though we are in a state of survival mode.
I don’t know about you, but I am SO MUCH more likely to offer someone else compassion before I offer compassion to myself. That made me think about how compassion and self-compassion are different, and why one comes so much more naturally for most of us.
Whereas compassion is a response and concern for others’ suffering and misfortune, self-compassion refers to being supportive toward oneself when experiencing suffering or pain. No matter if the suffering is caused by personal mistakes and inadequacies or external life challenges, self-compassion is the feeling of warmth, perspective, and self-assurance when life is hard.
For me, self-compassion is honoring and respecting that we are all human, instead of expecting to somehow be exempt from this human experience and live in perfection.
This made me think of you – maybe you’re like me and could use some practice on self-compassion as you navigate this potentially stressful season?
I created this little loving journal invitation for you.
Journal: Write about a time when you showed compassion to someone else.
Who was the person? (your child, a family member, your neighbor, the barista….)
What were the circumstances? (what happened, how did you respond…)
How did it feel? (natural, welcomed, forced…)
What was your “motivation?” (can you point to your values, agreements, or circumstances that explain why you showed compassion…)
Journal: Write about a recent act of SELF-compassion.
(And if this topic is hard, that’s okay. Stay with the topic and journal with self-compassion towards THIS experience of reflecting…)
What were the circumstances? (what happened that prompted you to need self-compassion)
How did you give yourself self-compassion? (maybe you….took a 15 minute head-clearing walk, set a firm boundary, had a good cry, gave yourself positive self-talk, spent time in meditation or prayer…)
How did it feel ? (natural, welcomed, uncomfortable, forced…)
What was your “motivation?” (can you point to your values, agreements, or circumstances that explain why you showed self-compassion…)
If you find that you cannot think of an act of self-compassion, that’s okay. This is really hard for many of us. What is one kind act you could do today to offer yourself some kindness or self-assurance?
Self-compassion isn’t nice to have when things are going well. It’s an essential tool we should all have in our toolbox to navigate the hard times.
Because, these are hard times.
Whether you feel prepared for the year’s end or can’t see past this weekend, I offer you this love note filled with compassion.
I would love to hear how you’re doing or simply share how you are navigating this November. Hit reply and let me know.
With compassion from my heart to yours,
Jenny
Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love. – Brené Brown
