Hi There!
I am fortunate to have several life-long friends. You know the ones who knew you in middle school and still are your ride-or-die? Yeah, that’s my friend Steph.
We hadn’t talked in many months — something we can do and then pick right back up where we left off — and we recently reconnected.
In our early 20s we went through an impact kickboxing phase. We were fit and had a ton of fun pushing ourselves in this class. She randomly texted me out of the blue: “Remember that time we took kickboxing and I kicked you in the boob?! Someone was asking me about kickboxing today and that memory popped into my head. You’re a good friend, Jenny Jane! 😂😘”
I don’t remember that at all.
Whenever I hear the word “kickboxing” I think about how 7 days before her wedding, while we were sparring and she was holding the pads for me, my sweaty leg slipped off the pad she was holding chest-high and I accidentally kicked her in the face with all my might. There was blood. And tears. And panic from both of us. Neither of us wanted her to be a bride with a fat lip and bruised eye. Luckily we treated her with ice to keep the swelling down, and her friend was a master at make-up.
What’s funny: she doesn’t remember that AT ALL.
We both have been holding on to these accidents where we hurt someone we love, and completely forgot about the rest.
Steph’s response to this revelation: “What a prime example of how our minds trick us into being too hard on ourselves.”
Mic drop.
It is so true. I see it every day in my coaching and I feel it in my own internal commentary. I hold on to mistakes and accidents and assume that if I stay diligent, I can stop myself from more mistakes.
But the reality is, most people are more forgiving than we are to ourselves. And, all of us are human, so we are going to make mistakes. A lot of them.
What accident or mistake are you carrying around with you that everyone else has probably forgotten or moved on from?
Can you let go and forgive yourself?
It feels good to let yourself off the hook with self-compassion, and maybe a good laugh. (And if so, hit reply and let me know.)
Xo,
Jenny
