When my oldest son was two, we were working on his manners. Parenting is hard enough without a sassy mini-me making demands, so this lesson was important for ALL of us.
It’s about keeping the peace, People.
When my son wanted something, we’d ask him to say “may I please….” But since most of the things he wanted at that age required help from us, and, as kids always seem to do, he made it his own:
“May you please…”
“Momma, may you please give me some cheese?”
“Daddy, may you please read me a book.”
“Momma, may you please stop singing.”
And while you might accuse us of not correcting his speech because it was so darn cute, let me explain.
He was clear about what he wanted and, he was being positive and kind. [Period. Full stop.] I’m a simple woman and kindness goes a loooooong way with me.
Recently, I was thinking that this is a great strategy to use with others, especially if they are singing off-key and withholding your cheesy snack.
It also reminded me of the loving-kindness meditation practice. In case this is new for you, here’s a quick overview of the flow of this meditation. First, we begin with feeling love and compassion for ourselves. Next, we extend our circle of love to those close to us. Then, we extend the feeling to all living beings. Gradually, with practice, the visualization and meditation phrases are meant to inspire and influence more loving kindness throughout our lives. Pretty cool.
What if you were to use this language — filled with kindness and clarity — to others around you:
“May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be at peace.”
Extend some kindness, courtesy of my now nearly 9-year old son, and see if it doesn’t warm your heart this week! And if you need some loving support to find the kindness in your life, contact me for a complimentary coaching call.
May you be well,
“Loving kindness is a profound recognition that our lives have something to do with one another, that everyone counts, that everyone matters.”
– Sharon Salzberg