There are some questions that hit you in the gut. While we each have our unique tender topics, one question that tends to evoke a lot of emotion in my coaching is “what do you need right now?”
This is such a simple question but one that we often don’t stop to consider. It’s a tricky topic for many women because we don’t actually WANT to NEED anything. (Jenny raises hand)
We have feelings about needing something.
We have feelings about the need not being met.
If we are honest with ourselves, and if we are patient and willing to ask a second or even third time, we can get to the HEART of the matter.
“What do I need?
“Yes, and what else do I need?”
“And what else?
And if we are brave (vulnerable) enough to ask for help getting the need met, we are sometimes left feeling really uncomfortable.
Because really, who wants to BE needy?! Sometimes it feels easier to deny we have needs and just keep going.
But let’s pause on this for a hot minute.
Are YOU NEEDY? Or do you have needs? Can you see the difference?
We are human. We ALL have needs. There is something BRAVE and BEAUTIFUL when a person is honest with themselves about their needs.
One of my clients had a major breakthrough around having needs and yelled (through her tears), “I’m a grown-ass lady and I can take care of myself!”
Yes. Yes you are. And yes you can.
When you give ourselves an opportunity to acknowledge and be honest about your needs, you are far more likely to get your needs met. And that my dear, is the heart of self-care.
Set an alarm on your phone with the question “what do I need right now?” Maybe you will have the alarm go off in the middle of the day, or at any point(s) of the day that are usually tricky for you. Try this reminder for a week and see if something shifts for you.
- What do you need right now? (write until you run out of things to write. Pause. And write the question again and go deeper. See what else you learn.)
- What are you grateful for right now? (again: write until you run out of things to write. Pause. And write the question again and go deeper. See what else you learn.)
- Right now I am feeling…
- My self-care intention today is…
What does self-care look like for you right now? Hit reply and let me know.
With love and care from my heart to yours,
PS – next week’s theme is “be filled with wonder.” I can’t wait to share it with you.